Last Post, but new blog!

To my very small amount of followers

I am excited, and a bit sad to let you know I will not be blogging here anymore.  I never felt that I had a niche on this blog, and as much as I loved it, it was very wishywashy.  

I have started a new business called Black Heart Creatives, making goth/macabre/modern crafts, cards and jewellery, including a cunt bracelet!  All my focus is going to be there now, however, I have started a new blog for all craft projects and product reviews and will be updating there a lot more than I ever did here.  So please, follow me and my adventures over there, I promise I will still be sweary and hilarious.  You can do it via bloglovin too.

Blog:                                    blackheartcreatives.blogspot.com 

Facebook:                            www.facebook.com/pages/Black-Heart-Creatives/125941160918157 

Twitter                                 @BHCreatives 

aaaand my Etsy shop           https://www.etsy.com/shop/BlackHeartCreatives

Thank you to all that followed and commented.  

Charlotte 

Birthday Wish List

I had hoped to blog my crafty creatives ventures, but I actually broke my wrist... AGAIN.  So instead, here is a non demanding birthday wishlist post.

1.  Fox Lampshade from Lush Designs £31.00  (Thank you to Bethany at Arched Eyebrow)
2.  Photo Albums for my wedding pictures & thousands of photos on my hard drive from Urban Outfitters £18.00 each 
3.  Holographic Leggings from ASOS Curve £13.50
4.  Nike Blazer Mids (in pink size 9 please!) cheapest place I have found them is ASOS £65.00
5.  Vivienne Westwood Chancery Bag £130.00 (IT WAS £240!)
6.  Fox Sweat Shirt from ASOS Curve £25.00
7.  Melted ice cream iPhone case from eBay £0.99
8.  Animal Crossing for the DS I got for Christmas
9.  Leopard Collar Clips  from We Are The Robots on Etsy £10.00
10. Colour Block Skater Skirt from ASOS Curve £25.00

Crafty Creatives Box #6

So I haven't blogged since May.  That is because in May I was proposed to and we had 4 months to plan my wedding.  I also broke my wrist twice in that time, quit my job and moved to Gloucestershire, my sister had her baby and most recently my kidneys failed and I was really unwell.

I think a lot of people assume I am very ~artistic and creative, but truthfully I am not. I would really like to be and have loads of good ideas but I never seem to execute them very well.  The ideas I had for my wedding however forced me to try crafts and making things as what I wanted was just not available anywhere, even places like etsy. I did document them as best as I could (as I always have blog posts ideas lingering in the back of mind) and found that as long as I was patient and followed instructions I was actually GOOD at crafts.

So with all this new found time on my hands I have been experimenting with crafts, specifically the Crafty Creatives boxes.  I decided that by signing up to them I would be able to build up a good base of crafting goods and try things that I wouldn't necessarily think of doing.  I think that that is their mind set too.

I didn't take a picture of the last box, but I have certainly made quite a few things from it, which I will post in the next couple of days.  However, today when the sixth box arrived I took lots of photos!  This months theme is 'icy'.

From my, and let's be clear, inexperienced perspective, this month seemed to revolve more around jewellery making type crafts than the box I received before, which seemed to focus on paper crafts.  I haven't really made a lot of jewellery in the past, and I can honestly say this is purely because the things that are on offer in hobbycraft and craft fairs that I have been to are not to my taste.  The various beads and choker in this months box are again not really to my taste, but then I like massive statement pieces, like my quest for this necklace.  But then I get pleasure out of making the things, and I can always give them to other people.

So what did we get this month?

Two Glass Hearts (and organza bag)

Crafty Creatives say that I could make a cute accent on a picture frame or I could wrap in wire to make a pendant.  I have literally no idea what to do with them, any suggestions would be appreciated!

Strand of Fluorite Gemstones

Crafty Creatives describe these as 'a mineral which is said to absorb and neutralise negative vibrations'.  I don't subscribe to that sort of thing, and these are not something I would usually wear.  However as I said before I do know about 30 people who would wear and enjoy these, and Crafty Creatives were really generous, the strand is about 80cms long! They did suggest that you could glue these to decorate as well, which I think I would prefer to do than make jewellery out of.

Ball of Furry White Wool

Crafty Creatives suggest making pompoms out of this.  I cannot knit, but I really want to learn.  I believe that you do not need to have a great knowledge of knitting to make a pompom.  I am very excited about this bit of the box. 

Icy Glass Beads

Pretty self explanatory really.  I think I might make a Christmas tree decoration out of these and the other ice drop beads they enclosed.  

Two Glass Drop Pendants

These are really nice and chunky and tactile.  Crafty Creatives suggest that you could make earrings or a keychain or even a sun catcher out of these.  I will focus on making a Christmas tree decoration with these.  

Small Bag of Paillettes

I won't lie to you, I had no idea what these were at first, then remembered back to when high street shops bought flapper style dresses back in for a brief moment and they were covered in these.  Crafty Creatives suggest that you could use them in jewellery, dress making and scrap booking. I think I am going to sit on these for a bit and wait for when Christmas is over and use them in card making.    

Sheet of Snowflake Stickers

Again pretty self explanatory.  I really love stickers, will be putting these on Christmas card envelopes and present labels. 

Choker Wire

I used to have one of these in the 90's and it was awesome.  I am hoping I can add some huge statement piece to it.  It really is massive.

20m Spool of Shirring Elastic 

Crafty Creatives say this is a craft essential.  I agree it is always handy, I used to use this when I actually did make my own jewellery, but it was plastic decapitated barbies and plastic stars and loads of glitter.  
 

The Art Card

Crafty Creatives always put in an art card.  Last month I had no idea where mine was and after ten minutes of bitching about it, I decided to test out the serrated scissors that came with my box.  I started to snip on the instructions leaflet.  My husband then pointed out that the art was on the back.  FML.  This one is really pretty, got a mixed media feeling to it but in a nice contemporary way.  

The Crafty Creatives Kit - MAKE YOUR OWN BATH BOMB

OK, so I have a bit of a problem with Lush addicts.  There was a time when the internet was wanking all over bath bombs and Lush, they gushed over the products so much that bath bombs became a bit of a lolworthy cliché for me.  I did eventually go to Lush to see what the fuss was about and I did enjoy their products a lot.  I even bought a bath bomb. But you know, I have had better. I am however excited to make my own bath bomb if only for the chemistry involved.  I will post about how it goes.    

The Crafty Creative girls also put in some badges/buttons/pins as a thank you as they have reached their 6 month mark.  I feel like I might have been a bit harsh with some of the reviews, but I suppose I am looking at this from a novice perspective and putting my taste before anything else.  For £10.00 a month, I cannot ever complain as there is always something for me to do, and the excitement of getting the box, I haven't experienced anything like that for a long time!  I have been informed of a trading post of past boxes or past box contents here on Facebook.  I will be checking that out in the near future.  

 

This Must Be The Place

Being over six feet tall, and also being plus size, I have massive feet.  They never look massive, they look totally in proportion.  They are wide as well, and pudgy.  I used to have massive problems finding shoes that fit and also didn't look like some clarks corrective kitten heals.  Evans used to sometimes have the odd amazing shoe, that I would buy and then wear to death.  Probably getting on for seven years ago now, I could only buy leopard print ballet flats on ebay in a size 9 for wide feet.  Then Evans kind of got with it and started doing some shoes that resembled ones in "normal" shops.  They still didn't really represent the ~alternative shoes that I wanted though.

Then New Look did something amazing.  They opened their wide fit shoes, and then made size 9's a standard size.  The world of cheap disposable shoes had opened up to me, I could get brogues that weren't mens (a massive stigma I have that I should probably lose) I could get decent ankle boots in nice colours and not massive kitten or stiletto heels!  And all this for under £20.00.  Larger Primark stores also opened a wide fit, and I managed to get affordable biker boots in a 9 in wide!!!  For the past 3 or so years I have been in shoe heaven, and it has felt good.  Until now.

Having been on a self imposed shoe and clothes ban since Christmas, I hadn't really needed to look for any shoes.  But having a bit of spare cash recently, and knowing my holiday is coming up, I decided to look for some shoes in New Look.  I had looked a few weeks ago and they seemed to be lacking on the size 9's, but then in my experience they always do, I don't know if this is because they stock less of them, or because more people actually have massive massive feet.  I guess the second, because in "regular" non fat sections of clothes shops, 16's and 18's always go really quickly.  I imagine because some other fat girl without a want to look wear floral sacks has got there before me.  So I had a really good in depth look, I didn't want to admit it, but I knew deep down they had stopped doing 9's.  I knew because they had stopped online as well, but I just couldn't admit to myself that I was going to have to go back to disgusting shoes from Evans.  Y U NO DO SIZE 9'S NEW LOOK Y? 

Having massive feet and having to go to a special section (although quite well integrated New Look I give you that) reinforces the fact that I am not a highstreet "normal".  I am too fat and too tall for clothes made available for everyone else.  Now the only clothes shop on the highstreet that I visit nowadays have destroyed the feminine feeling I used to get of buying pretty shoes like MOST PEOPLE.  This is not a luxury for most, this is normal shopping experience.  Now, in total honesty, they have made me feel less of a woman, a feeling that I get most times I go shopping.

All I was after were these new look stretchy wedges, 2.5 inches high and a bargain at £15.99. Now I could have forced my foot into an 8, and hope fully with some further weight loss this will happen, but er why should I have to?! But I chose not to, as these will be my staple sandals on holiday and throughout the summer.  So I had to buy these  Evans versions in a 9, which are a bit higher and £10 more expensive.  Neither of these things I want.  Yes, both are very similar, so why should I have to pay an additional tenner (plus P+P!) for just one size bigger?

I did notice that in the sale at New Look they had some other size 9's just laying about: 2 pairs of brogues (neither in wide fitting) and a pair of pink candy striped wedges with a 3 inch wedge.  I bought all of these things.  Sadly, only one pair of the brogues fitted nicely.  Here are some nice pictures of me in the new shoes.  Please excuse the instagram-ness of them, turns out using your DSLR on feet that are not that nice, does not give you the lovely photo you envisioned. Think Hi Def HD feet :/

New Look are still showing size 9 as an option on their website, but I am unable to find ANY in that size.  I just hope maybe this is something they have phased out in smaller stores, and I will have to make extra trips to places like West Fields or the West End to find fashionable fat shoes.  If anyone has any information about this, please let me know!

Charlie Chalk

Not even going to apologise for being a rubbish blogger.  I dyed my hair again, as I got bored.  It was a bit of a to do, as no hair dresser wanted to touch the bright Rhianna red and said it would fall out if we went brown and dip dyed bleached ends that I wanted.  I knew this to be utter bollocks. So I used the trusty COLOUR B GONE stuff and it totally stripped my hair of all redness and went a lovely caramel blonde colour.

 from this to.....

 

.....this

This then upset my hairdresser as she said putting brown on top of this lovely blonde make it go khaki, and she would need to put another red on top.  At this point I felt like stabbing someone a little bit.  Having dyed my own hair for so long, I know what it is capable of and I just wanted to say NO, NO IT WON'T, JUST DIP DYE MY HAIR FFS.  Also the junior had only booked me in for a 30 mins all over colour, so the hairdresser didn't even have enough time to sort it out. So we made a plan to have an all afternoon appointment the next monday.  I thought to myself, ok, I can cope with having orangey caramel hair for the weekend, despite having a birthday in Chalk Farm the next day.

Very luckily, my pal Chantelle got very excited about an internet phenomenon that I had not heard of called "chalking".  There are thousands of youtube videos and tumblr pictures dedicated to showing you how to do it, but it is very simply, wetting some chalk (or pastels as I would have called them) and rubbing it up your hair.  The problem with the colour b4 stuff is that if you leave it like that, your hair gets progressively more orange, so I welcome the chalking to make it look less like dirty skank self bleached hurr look.  The results were amazing: 

I must add that it is a very messy process, so gloves and a towel are a must. Also Chantelle found that rather than having wet hair, it is best to wet the chalk itself.  I think either way works, but wet chalk and chair is the best combo.  Chantelle had almost black hair, and a sky blue came up easily as good if not better than the pink, so any hair colour will work wonders.  It came out in 2 washes or so, but I think because my hair was particularly porus after the colour b4 it stuck around longer than it should of, and again because it was straw blonde, I had to condition it an awful lot after.  I did really enjoy this, having pink ends without the commitment made me feel about 15 again, without the angst, which surely can only be a good thing?

P.S I didn't go for a dip dye in the end, we did a dirty blonde with weird bits of brown in random colours half way down my hair and underneath, so I look like a surfer, esp when curly.  I am very happy with it. 

MY SISTER GOT A BABY INSIDE OF HER

Yeah I haven't blogged in ages, which is a bit stupid really considering I got an amazing DSLR for this very purpose (and for prosperity purposes of course). Things that have happened in since Christmas:

• I started going on evening walks
• MY SISTER GOT A BABY INSIDE OF HER
• It was my birthday/ It was valentine’s day/ it was my anniversary/February is really busy
• It snowed
• I became obsessed with Twin Peaks, The American Office and It's Always Funny in Philadelphia 
• I snapped my MENISCUS in my knee
• Soundgarden and Faith No More announced UK Festivals

So each of the above are my short photo dominated catch up blog posts for the next week, which will be posted in no particular order. This post is: "MY SISTER GOT A BABY INSIDE OF HER"

Never have two more deserving people got pregnant before.  I wept with joy at the news of my baby sister getting her own baby INSIDE OF HER. Not being an easy ride so far, I had been busting to share the news, and as soon as she came out of her scan I met her outside work and cried like a weirdo in the street.  Alex and her partner Dan looked on at me like I was a weirdo, themselves not shedding any emotion but just letting me openly cry in the street which looked like for no reason. They later revealed they cried at the sonogram lady and they got extra pictures of their tiny grape baby because they were so emotional already.  Alex also sent me a recording of the babies heartbeat, and at the end it gets all fast because it is moving(!)

I have been over enthusiastic in wanting to help with the baby, I am not even a birthing partner, because I am quote "too loud and annoying." I am better at organising things and being an obscenely efficient bossy nazi, so that babies 1st birthday party is going to be epic.

My sister is really small and petite and everything I am not, so not even at the half way point, she is huge.  Skinny arms and legs and bum, you wouldn't even know she is incubating a tiny person in her from behind.  Luckily I have taken loads of photos to show she was really a fatty early on to show her kids when they are older.   

I cannot wait till August.  I would like to say how pleased I am and how much I love my jnr jnr mole sister and Dan so much and cannot wait to meet baby him or her.  Also I cannot wait to be slightly on the edge Auntie Charlotte who will feed them loads of sweets and get their ears pierced when they are 6 months old and dress them in adult people clothes and get it to ride the cat, all the shit you just should not do.  <3

It snowed

Yeah I haven't blogged in ages, which is a bit stupid really considering I got an amazing DSLR for this very purpose (and for prosperity purposes of course). Things that have happened in since Christmas:

• I started going on evening walks
• MY SISTER GOT A BABY INSIDE OF HER
• It was my birthday/ It was valentine’s day/ it was my anniversary/February is really busy
• It snowed
• I became obsessed with Twin Peaks, The American Office and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia 
• I snapped my MENISCUS in my knee
• Soundgarden and Faith No More announced UK Festivals

So each of the above are my short photo dominated catch up blog posts for the next week, which will be posted in no particular order. This post is: "It snowed"

It started snowing on my birthday.  We found this out when we came out of pizza express and there was a foot of snow and we had to dig the car out, and then Wilson drifted across the road and I had to shout PULL OFF IN 2ND FFS in her face.   

We made a snowman to celebrate the fact it snowed and it had no travel repercussions on me for the first time in five years.  Normally I would tell the snow to fuck right off and glare at people rolling around in it.  Not this year. This year I got amongst the snow.  We made a snowman and it smelt weird, and it turns out they are not that easy to make.  I also made so vulgar poses behind its snowy back.

Arrested Development hoody is a must for all cold outside activities

We stuffed seeds in his demonic eye holes and fashioned him a twig smile

Andrew enjoying the snow, also portraying where I hurt his forehead a bit on purpose and it left a mark

Possibly the best album cover of all time?

Two pence nose, and some weird black bits in his stinky torso

I licked his face

I also erotically touched him, his mouth is in a straight line, which made me think he didn't like it?  It was consensual though, as you know my feelings on non consensual sex guys. 

 Yeah........ the snow made me sexually aggressive.